On the 2nd of February I am giving a short workshop in the Col·legi de Psicòlegs de Catalunya about the use of movement in psychotherapy. It is free and, hopefully, participatory and useful.
Studying Dance/Movement Therapy in UAB was a way for me to broaden my abilities as a psychologist and psychotherapist. Now I want to share what I´ve learnt from my experience of integrating movement into the more traditional verbal therapeutic setting.
The workshop will be in Catalan or Spanish depending on the participants’ needs and abilities.
Welcome!

When emotions take over, breath. Parents, teacher, even random bystanders would probably suggest breathing deeply to a person in evident distress. However, not so many people know exactly how to breathe and even less actually practice these skills.

The majority of breathing techniques have very simple principles to support them. Inhale activates the sympathetic nervous system, which promotes alertness. Exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us to calm down. Even breath without bumps and jumps moves the whole organism towards balance and stabilization. When a person concentrates their attention on breathing, for example counting the rhythm, other things such as emotions, thoughts and sensations, fade into the background. Active, deep, exaggerated breathing can make feelings stronger, more evident. Posture and movement can support all the effects described above. In a nutshell, this is all there is to breathing techniques, at least the ones I know, recommend and practice. The difficult part comes now – paying attention and practicing every day.

Nowadays, many educational facilities begin to offer basic self-regulation techniques to students of all ages. I had a privilege of seeing some of the inside workings of public education in Russia, US and Spain. Here, and I dare say in most other places around the globe, public schools in general are quite rigid when it comes to introducing new programs and activities. No wonder – there is always a scarcity of time and money and an overabundance of students. Therefore, if schools decide to include something in their curriculum, it means it is definitely worth it. Kids show better results, fight less and simply are better behaved.

What can we do at home to help children learn how to use breath for their emotional needs? There are wonderful specialists in this field, who dedicate their time to research this topic. They would probably give you a lot more suggestions and techniques. Here I simply want to share what we invented together with my three-year-old daughter.

I will describe two games that we created ourselves. The third one is a creative adaptation of something we stole from one wonderful granny. I started using our games in bed before or between stories. Here is how it goes.

First game. Fingers. We simply count on fingers inhales and exhales. We started with one hand and five breath cycles, now we do both. When I show what we are going to do, I make a clear accent on a longer smoother outbreath. There is nothing said, just shown. That is all.

Second game. Reach the ceiling. I say, “Look, I can reach the ceiling”, and make a very long exhale following it with my finger. ”Can you do this?” “Let’s see, who can reach higher?” This can be repeated a couple of times, while the child still finds this interesting.

When I decided to try this for the first time, I was hesitant and thought she might not want to play or find this boring. However, children have an amazing ability to grab onto what they need. My daughter started repeating this with enthusiasm, and now reminds me about the breathing games if I forget. She even used finger game spontaneously on the street a few times, when she felt overwhelmed. It was pure self-regulation, because I never explained what we are doing and why. We were just playing.

We learned the third game from a friend’s granny. This is how it goes. At a pedestrian crossing with a red light, suggest to the child: “Let’s blow at it, and it will turn green”. She was simply blowing at the traffic light together with her grandson. I could not help it and started doing the same with my daughter. The following time I decided to include some more wisdom into it: “It didn’t change yet? What if we try to relax our shoulders? Bellies? Here you go!” This is just the beginning. You can spice this game up with whatever works for you and fits the situation: add movement, directions, change postures, breath in rather than out.

A young client of mine recently mentioned that she found an app that proved itself useful to her: a ball that grows and shrinks, helping the user to control their breathing (Breath ball). This simple instrument helps her manage anxiety in difficult situations. Later on another person mentioned Headspace during our session. From the context, it became clear to me that I am quite out of step with technological developments in my own field. So, I started catching up.

There is a whole vast world of psychological self-help applications out there. Over the last month of searching, experimenting and trying out, I have barely scratched the surface. Many useless ones were discarded along the way. Below, you will find the first of what I hope will become a series of reviews of apps that I found truly helpful.

1. Headspace

Mindfulness meditation seems to have been in fashion for a while now, and with good reason. I also turn to it time and again in both my professional and personal life. I used to recommend books on mindfulness to my clients, but sadly, reading becomes less and less popular over time. It requires extra effort that only a few are willing to make an investment in. Now I also have a solution for those people who cannot imagine life away from the screen.

Along with Mindfulness Daily, Meditation, Stop Breathe and Think, and others, Headspace offers its users simple, comprehensible and, most importantly, short guided meditations for any and all occasions. The free trial version of the app only gives you the basics. To move to the deeper levels and access special programs such as Meditation for Anxiety, Meditation for Depression, Meditation for sleep, Meditation for Self-Esteem. Meditation for Productivity and so on, you’ll have to dive into the cookie jar.

These apps are, probably, the only chance for many people to take breaks in their lives, and thus move towards tranquility, confidence, attention and presence. All these apps are essentially the same, but because you will have to listen to another person`s voice on this journey, choose the one you are less disturbed by.

2. Gratitude Garden

This app became a true revelation for me. It is common knowledge that gratitude is an important skill for psychological well-being. This is a simple and beautiful way to develop a healthy habit of acknowledging the positive things in life. As a client of mine said when she tried it for a week upon my recommendation: “It is amazing how absolutely every day several really good things happen”. People tend to lose sight of this fact. Gratitude Garden delicately reminds us that even on rainy days somewhere high above the sun is still shining.

3. Forest

A simple and elegant solution designed to help you disconnect from your mobile without actually turning it off. Every time you want to concentrate on work/reading/conversation, you plant a virtual tree, specifying the amount of time you want to stay away from the device. If you log out of the app before the set time, the tree will dry out. Slowly you can grow a whole forest.

This app has a paid version that includes many interesting options, such as planting real trees, but the free option may be enough.

4. Lumosity

Lumosity is a great alternative to the usual simple games. This app is designed to promote cognitive development and growth. All games in one way or another help you train your brain. To begin with, it tests your baseline abilities (attention, speed, memory) and then every day suggests special games to increase your results. Some of them will seem simple, others will make you feel how your brain creeks getting back in motion.

The basic version of this app has less games and options, but might help you limit the time you spend playing with it.

5. Dailio

This app is organized as an extremely simplified diary. You just rate how you feel and mark the activities you were engaged in during the day. It would be especially useful for people who have a tendency towards depressive states. Keeping such a book of emotional ups and downs you would get an opportunity to notice if decreased mood starts to become habitual and maybe even track the associated activities, or lack thereof.

It promises to make you fabulous and doesn’t push you to make choices or decisions (what more could one want?!) Among the apps featured in this list, it is the most thorough and detailed. It sends motivating letters, offers tasks to the users, depending on the chosen pack. You start with baby steps, and gradually raise the complexity on the way to a new, fabulous self.

7. Loop

If you already have a clear idea of the habits you need for health and happiness. Loop will help you keep track of progress, reminding you about your routines at specific times. Sometimes such an obvious demonstration of evolution and gentle reminders are exactly what is needed for a fresh start.

Fortunately, no app will ever be able to substitute genuine human connection. So take your attention of your device for a moment right now and look around: maybe there is someone right here worth hugging or talking to?

Sorry, this entry is only available in Русский.

Sorry, this entry is only available in Русский.

Lately, depression is an especially popular topic on all media. This is very good. People need to know what it really looks like (#faceofdepression), how to deal with it, especially with people close to us who suffer from it. However, today I feel like talking about anxiety. In the world of constant change, informational overflow and excessive expectations, anxiety disorders become ever more common. According to some studies (Prevalence of mental disorders in Europe: results from the European Study of the Epidemiology of Mental Disorders (ESEMeD) project), up to 14% of healthy Europeans without any history of mental illness have suffered from anxiety in one of its many forms at some point. Universal data, gathered from analysing broad sample groups, states numbers as high as 1/3 of the population (Epidemiology of anxiety disorders in the 21st century).

According to my personal clinical observations, about a third of the people I attend come directly because of anxiety or panic states, and the rest have experienced them at some point in their lives.

We can imagine anxiety quite clearly. Recall how you felt before or during an exam, while waiting for important lab results or a call from a loved one, who might be in danger. Apart from the emotional component, there are distinct physical signals of worry/anxiety/panic. Take a moment now to remember these sensations in your body. What did you feel? Usually there is muscular tension, changes in breathing and acceleration of the heartbeat. Then, depending of the intensity of one’s experience, comes pain and tightness of the chest and/or head, perspiration, vertigo, dizziness. Does this all sound familiar?

Anxiety, fear and even panic per se are harmless and normal, moreover, they have useful purposes. So how can you understand, if what you are experiencing is not normal? And, especially, how to decide when to ask for help? I always pose the same question to my clients: does this interfere with your ability to live as you want and find appropriate? If it does then it is a problem. If not, than there is nothing to worry about. States of anxiety become a disorder when they exceed the limits of what you can withstand calmly and productively. I will give you some examples:

• A shy man always had trouble making friends, because he avoids all social occasions and meetings, including those he is potentially interested in and is invited to. He does not want to party or to be the centre of attention, but his life becomes difficult when there is no one to talk to. It has never been a real problem in his perception until the time his best and only friend from school left the country to live in a far away place. Our man became extremely lonely, and now his social anxiety is a real torture.

• A woman, prone to worrying for her grown-up son always found this to be uncomfortable, but also was secretly proud of such a strong maternal instinct. However, lately she has trouble falling asleep if she cannot contact her son, and he does not always pick up the phone. Insomnia made her sensitive nervous system even weaker, and she began experiencing panic attacks without any apparent reason.

I just invented these particular people. But they are very much like those who come into my office. Sadly, most people come, when they cannot stand it any longer. My primary recommendation is to ask for help before, when it becomes uncomfortable or unpleasant, and not wait until it becomes absolutely unbearable.

It is worth mentioning, especially for family members and friends of people, who suffer from anxiety disorders, that these conditions can be truly agonizing. The vast majority of people, who come to me because of problems related to anxiety, at one point or another share having suicidal thoughts.

The good news is that anxiety, panic, phobias and other disorders of this spectrum are highly treatable. There is a wide variety of methods, effective drugs and great techniques that do not involve any medication. The main thing is to understand and accept that anxiety is getting out of hand, and a good specialist will help you put it back in its place.

As an end note I want to leave you with some recommendations for prevention of anxiety disorders:

• Find time for emptiness and quiet. Most likely you are not going to like it at first. It might even provoke a certain degree of anxiety. But in the long run it will make an invaluable contribution to your emotional health. My personal choice lies with mindfulness meditation, but even a slow walk in nature could do the trick.
• Limit the information you consume. Pay attention to the time you spend, ingesting information (Internet, TV, books, conversations) and tone it down.
• Do nice things for yourself. Just because. Whatever way you want. Whatever way you can.
• Get enough rest and sleep. At least from time to time. Reach a compromise with yourself, your family and work, and get plenty of sleep at least couple of times a week.
• Release physical tension. You can use whatever way you want: dance, run, jump, swim, walk. You can even skip or swing on a swing as long as you do it regularly and feel tension leave your body, while you do it.
• Pay attention to what you eat and drink. If you see that it makes your anxiety level rise, think twice whether you really need this.
• Take care of your circle of support: family, friends, colleagues. Having people you can count on in certain difficult situations is one of the major factors in emotional wellbeing.

Sorry, this entry is only available in Русский.

Sorry, this entry is only available in Русский.

A good book is an essential element of a real vacation. At least it is for me. I used to bring two or three for just a week. Now I have a toddler, so my personal goal is to get through a hundred pages in a month (wishful thinking if ever I saw one!). But for those of you who can and do enjoy reading I’ve prepared this summer list that is both enjoyable and psychologically instructive.

Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski

This book promises women a better sexual life, but what it really provides is much more. Emily Nagoski’s clear, scientific and deeply compassionate description of female sexuality manages to include the bodily wellbeing as a whole. She keeps telling the reader that what we are accustomed to label as dysfunctional is actually normal. If it is not painful it is normal. This seems like a good mantra to me, and I actually use a very similar explanation, when patients ask me if something in their behaviour or life is “normal”.

“Come as you are” is full of practical advice, references to useful resources and real-life examples. The same characters appear throughout the book, so we can follow their progress and development, while applying (or contemplating) changes in our own lives.

This book is a real must read for everyone. It is written for women, but I would suggest it to men as well. Nagoski gives answers to many enigmas that men struggle with. For example, how your female partner can enjoy sex without having an orgasm more than when she does.

The Happiness Hypothesis, by Jonathan Haidt

In his book Jonathan Haidt seems to cover most of human mental and emotional functioning in search for a way to happiness. If you are as passionate about curious facts and experiments in the field of psychology as I am, this is a perfect summer read for you. It could win a prize for the amount of examples per page. And yet it remains easy to read and entertaining.

However, I would advise the reader to be weary of taking all the conclusions for granted. Haidt’s views sometimes strike me as excessively biology- and cognitive-oriented. But the facts he describes remain the same and it is your choice what to make of them (if anything).

The Story Factor, by Annette Simmons

As a little girl my dream was to become a fairy-tale teller. At the time it seemed to be the closest one could get to being a real fairy. My actual profession turned out to be the opposite: I listen much more than I talk. However, stories still fascinate me to this day.

Annette Simmons is a leading expert on stories and how to find and tell them. This book seems to be oriented towards people, who are making their career in the executive world and want to learn alternative approaches to convincing people and making a point. However, I find storytelling to be a universally useful skill. You can adapt Simmons’s advice to everything from high-level negotiations to convincing your child to eat broccoli.

The Story Factor is full of entertaining stories from all sorts of cultures and times. Simmons is weaving recommendations and tips into her stories, thus demonstrating the power and beauty of storytelling as a tool to bring information across.

If you are planning to travel this summer, take this book with you (or download the audio version) and it will help you use this experience to create, research and tell stories.

Man’s Search For Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

This one has long become a classic, yet I’ve met a lot of people, even psychotherapists who’ve never heard of Viktor Frankl. I first read Man’s search for meaning some 15 years ago during a summer beach vacation. One does need some extra sun to get through the description of the author’s experience of concentration camps. However, my overall feeling after reading this book was of blazing light somewhere in the middle of my chest. It forever changed my life and determined my future choice of psychotherapy school.

Viktor Frankl was the founder of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. This book explains the basics of the method and its origins in the author’s life experience. The cornerstone of Frankl’s teaching is the importance of meaning. Even though many scientists since (see examples in The Happiness Hypothesis) have demonstrated how having a perceived sense of meaning and purpose in life are crucial for happiness and fulfilment, modern culture still overlooks this fact, teaching us to focus on accumulation and competition. If you feel that the chase of material items is not enough and you need to find something larger in life – this book is for you!

Creatures Of A Day, by Irvin Yalom

Creatures of a day is a collection of stories that occurred between the great therapist and his patients. It would be a good read for both therapists and clients. It is a moving review of encounters and struggles on both sides of a therapeutic relationship.

As in all of Yalom’s books, his latest work is a pleasurable and enlightening read that poses deep questions and gives a hint at some answers. Stories of sorrow and joy, moral dilemmas and difficult choices are all told with a true novelist’s brilliance.

This book (along with many others by the same author) is a good choice for people who like to think and feel deeply, but never say no to a colourful description.

Sorry, this entry is only available in Русский.